You’re at the Goddamn Bowling Alley! Smile for Once.


Since September of last year, Emily and I have participated in a handicapped bowling league. The premise is that everything is super laid back. You come, bowl three games with some friends, drink a pitcher or three of beer, and have something to look forward to every week. We play for modest cash prizes at the end of the 14 weeks, but otherwise there is nothing at stake, aside from (very unimpressive) bragging rights. It’s not even a sanctioned league!

My point is this: it’s supposed to be fun.

But there are some who seem to take no joy from this weekly recreation. There are a few people we bowl against who are paying $13 a week (plus $2 for shoes, if the don’t bring their own) to do nothing but scowl. They bowl a strike, and it’s a straight face: no jump, no arms raised in victory, no fist pump. They feel no joy.

DUDES! It’s bowling. You’re paying money to enjoy yourself. Smile one goddamn time. You’re bowling!



Posted on Friday, March 26th, 2010 by Art
This post has to do with I am judging you, obsession, overthinking, sports

5 people have been fooled.

  1. Julie Says:

    Agreed! Some people just take ANY sport seriously, even if it’s hardly a competition. I feel bad for them. If I had more money I’d buy them all beer each week.

  2. John Says:

    Take it from someone who lettered in bowling….crack a smile, for the love of Pete!

  3. Wendy Says:

    I’m totally going to feel like the Smile Patrol next week!

    And wait. What do you mean it’s not sanctioned? I totally thought it was a pro league!!

  4. Amelia Says:

    Oh, now I’m totally curious who you are talking about! I’m going to be watching everyone next week. You had damn well better smile, people!

  5. Bill K Says:

    I’m curious who you’re talking about. Most of the people in our current league are friends and I haven’t known any of them to be like this.